School's out

School is over, and it never felt so good.

This was one of the most difficult semesters I have had throughout my scholastic career. Even at Olivet, the graduate level is significantly more strenuous than the undergraduate. Multiple factors play in: getting married, three jobs, paying bills, and making time for people around me. Not to mention I didn't hardly exercise or eat right, this semester took a toll on my "gauges" as Prof. Wine would say.

Regardless of how difficult it may have been, I learned a whole heck of a lot.

1. The Bible (specifically the New Testament, even more specifically Paul, and even more than that the letters that we actually know without question that Paul wrote) greatly utilizes the various inventions of rhetoric. I had a class with Troy Martin, who I am convinced knows just about everything there is to know about Paul and his letters, on the uses of rhetoric in Paul's letters. By seeing his different usages of rhetorical proofs (logos, ethos, pathos) and other various rhetorical devices in Paul's letters, I will never read them the same again. Also, I am now aware of the variegated rhetorical situations we face daily. People are very good at using rhetoric, and they can also be very manipulative.

2. I am not an open theist. It seemed appealing at first, but the evidence I've found leads me to believe that open theism's nature is reactionary to a specific strand of the Christian faith, and I just don't know that I need to "go there" in order to have a proper understanding of God. I do not, however, think that it is necessarily outside of the trajectory of faith. It is based more off a philosophical presupposition (God's relation to time and the created order) than a theological assertion (God has to be x in order to do y). This does not mean that I am closed to learning more about or investigating more fully the concept of open theism--just right now I am content with being a good old fashion Arminian.

3. Studying ethics is interesting. I still am unsure of how I would even define ethics; where they come from and how they derive I still have no conclusion. It was interesting this semester, however, to see the changes and different forms of ethics throughout the 20th century. What I have found to be the defining era of the 20th century was WW2. I'm sure few would disagree with that. How the incredibly diverse aspects of that war play into the different views of ethics is astounding. Even still, the best metaphor to describe the ethics throughout the 20th century would be a pendulum. It is easy to see how one ethicist reacted against another ethicist, and then back again, and so forth. Really interesting.

This is just a tip of the iceberg of things I learned. I hope the process continues where I am able to continue to build on the different things I know.

Now I just might watch some TV for a while.

Cavity

Today I got my first cavity filling. Dagum. 22 years strong without one. Now that day has come and gone. Though it is probably common knowledge that I don't take care of my teeth that well, they have always been strong and haven't let me down when I go to the doctor. This time was not the case. I gave the 'ole "yeah, yeah, I know" when they told me to floss more, but to my surprise they said, "uh oh, we gotta fill this one in the back".

Cavities are quite the remarkable little phenomenon. I heard a long time ago that the teeth are the strongest bones in the body. Well, all that sugar, bacteria, and rotting food that just sits in our teeth and wears through the enamel and then all the way to the root. You're really sorry out of luck if your nerve gets exposed. Ouch! I'd rather get the shot of novacain. Amazing that food can do that. It just makes me wonder what kind of dental problems Jesus had. They didn't have any fluoride in the water and had few means of taking care of their teeth. He probably had a tooth ache or two. Simple things like this remind me of his humanity even though he is the fullness of God.

Anyway, novocain is an interesting thing. It pinches when they shoot you with it. Then slowly my face felt fatter, and fatter, and fatter. You have to kill time while it takes effect. While it was settling in I got to tell the doctor how the Nazarene Church came out of the Methodist movement, and that it follows the theology of John Wesley. He just basically wanted to know what I am in school for. After I ran it down for him, I realized the whole left side of my face was gone. Couldn't move it if you paid me. He then started drilling.

The whole thing wasn't that bad of a process. I used to fear the doctor with all of my being. Now, I say, "bring it on doc!" Let's see if that hold up if I get a kidney stone next...

Maybe I'll start flossing more.

Adventures in the OT

When's the last time you've seriously read parts of the Old Testament?

I've been thinking a lot about the Old Testament for the last couple of days. Let me just premise this post by saying that I have spent almost all of my Bible reading time so far this year in the Old Testament, and this mostly is a result of the fact that I set a goal of reading the entire Word in one year. So far, I've found it pretty interesting. Here are a few of the things I've been going over.

1. If we don't believe that Israel is the beacon for the world, then we are sorely mistaken. I've found through reading the different accounts of the history of Israel that almost every mistake that the Israelites made is continually repeated through the course of history. So, as God ordained Israel as the nation for all the world to know him through the promise of Abraham, so to all the world realizes their shortcomings through the example of Israel as well. Pretty interesting.

2. I've been reading through "The Bible Jesus Read" by Philip Yancey (shout out to Levi here for an excellent groomsman gift) and finding that it is in the OT where we learn how to live. The NT is great for instruction, but even Paul says that all scripture is useful for teaching, correction and rebuking (2 Timothy 3:16), he is referring not to his own words but the different accounts of the poetry and narrative found in the OT. In other words, it is the OT where narrative theology is developed--an invitation to join into the story of salvation. (For great reading about this particular topic, check out Brian Walsh, J. Richard Middleton, and Lesslie Newbigin)

3. It's just plain interesting. Some of its weird, but like Kierkagaard says, "just act on what you understand". I'm finding it to be an amazing adventure I get myself wrapped into.

I'm getting through the Proverbs right now. I've learned some good words of wisdom such as gluttony being equated with drunkenness, but I shall save that for another post.

I enjoy reading responses!

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Speak no evil

Lately I've learned the power of the spoken word.

I live in a place where it seems that gossip is all people care about. I know this is true for the whole world--just look at the magazine rack when checking out at the local grocery store. It's all about "Britney's in rehab again", "Paris only got arrested four times last month", "Lindsey found in a dark alley wearing a toga", and "Tom impregnated Kate with an alien through the power of scientology". Ok, so the last one may be a bit of an embellishment, but I wouldn't put it past them. I even have a friend who at his work they have "fantasy US weekly" that is managed just like a fantasy football league, where each person gets a certain amount of points for guessing who is on the cover and who gets the spotlight stories. A bit over the top for those who get really into it.

My point with all this said is that our culture is obsessed with the actions of other people, especially when the actions have no direct effect on the persons not involved. Lack of involvement makes it better! To seperate oneself and be able to say, "wow, i'm glad my life isn't that crappy" and then move one with their day apathetically is the best case senario!

This is bad.

What makes this worse is that we cannot escape the "personal interest" people take in others. It is not something that the common folk only look into Hollywood for, it happens everywhere.

I had facebook for a while, and it was pretty fun to have. I was able to catch up with old friends, see different people that I hadn't seen in ages from places I had lived, and post funny things on my friends "walls". I found that after a while though that facebook was becoming big brother. At any point, I could see my friends last actions when they were online, and it would even tell me when they were sitting at their computer. A bit out of hand if you ask me. Within an instant you can know who's dating who, when people break up, and other little things that only reveal to the heart gossip, not a cause for deep concern. (I don't want to judge those who use facebook still, I just am stating for myself it got out of hand).

I am ashamed of how many times I have indulged myself in what I shall call this "impersonal interest". When speaking about people, it is often to know the dirt. I feel like Aunt Bea and Miss Clara gossiping with the ladies at the Mayberry drug store. This "impersonal interest" has also vexed the campus I live on. It isn't long before people have nothing more insightful to ask than to immediately move on to talking about other people. It is strange how this can come along with good intentions as well. For instance:
"man you really got to pray for Jack and Audrey"
"oh gosh what happened?"
"wellllllll, i really shouldn't go into it but..."
And so forth.

Crazy how sin can intrude on the most innocent of things! How can I change my "impersonal interest" to authentic "personal interest"?

The scriptures have shed some light on this thing we as a culture struggle with so much. It seems that the audience of the epistle writers dealt with the same issues. James gets kinda harsh speaking about the tongue: "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell" (3:6). Woah. Another way the scriptures reveal to us what we are really made of. It is another way of seeing how hurtful our words can be. They have the potential to build high, but also to bury deep.

I guess the only way to live within the truth of this text is to simply shut up. When we decide to listen and engage rather than long hear and speak for fulfullment, we just might be able to take "personal interest". I'm gonna try to do so, and there's a long road ahead. Anyone wanna go with me? We might learn something about each other.

I think I can hear him

Today, I pondered how in the world I was ever going to finish the work that lies ahead of me for the rest of the semester. I think about times where I can escape to read different material, where I can write, and where I can think about what I am learning and apply it to the various facets of life.

Today, I was reminded of the suffering around us. I get isolated here at school, turning the ideas about what I learn into idolatry and not realizing that they are insignificant as people around me suffer and are filled with pain.

Today, a friend from high school told me that the brother of one of our friends suddenly passed away a few days ago. It simply started with a sinus infection, then meningitis, and then a brain tumor. The whole ordeal was very sudden and unexpected. But then again, when do we ever expect this sort of thing. My heart sank when I heard his because their dad passed away about ten years ago. How is it possible that so much affliction could come to one family?

Today, the question was begged of how bad things could possibly happen to good people. My friend’s family has looked to God through the past pains, they go to church, and it is incomprehensible how my friend’s mom could endure the loss of both a husband and a son. How could God let this happen?

Today, I thought of what is in my opinion one of the greatest literary works of the 20th century--“Night” by Elie Wiesel. I would think it would be hard to find a more detailed and descriptive account of the horrors that took place during the Holocaust. It is cold, dark, and chilling, but still I think is a must read. The underlying question Wiesel poses is always “where is God?”. Perhaps one of the most profound insights does not come for his text, but comes from the forward.

And how many devout Jews endured such a death? On that most horrible day, even among those other bad days, when the child witnessed the hanging (yes!) of another child who, he tells us, had the face of a sad angel, he heard someone behind him groan:
“For God’s sake, where is God?”
And within me, i heard a voice answer:
“Where He is? This is where--hanging from this gallows.”

And I who believe that God is love, what answer was there to give my young interlocutor whose dark eyes still held the reflection of the angelic sadness that had appeared one day on the face of a hanged child? What did I say to Him? Did I speak to him of that other Jew, this crucified brother who perhaps resembled him of that other Jew, this crucified brother who perhaps resembled him and whose cross conquered the world? Did I explain to him that what had been a stumbling block for
his faith had become a cornerstone for mine? And that the connection between the cross and human suffering remain, in my view, the key to the unfathomable mystery in which the faith of his childhood was lost? And yet, Zion has risen up again out of the crematoria and the slaughterhouses. The Jewish nation has been resurrected from among its thousands of dead. It is they who have given it new life. we do not know the worth of one single drop of blood, one single tear. All is grace. If the Almighty is the Almighty, the last word for each of us belongs to Him. That is what I should have said to the Jewish child. But all I could do was embrace him and weep.

Today, as I think about Jesus, the only image that came to mind was the Christ who weeps. He knows our suffering. He hangs in the gallows alongside those he loves. I think I can hear him.

Here we go...

This is my third try at blogging. The first few I just gave up on. Perhaps I’ll like this format and we’ll keep with it.

I’m currently listening to Bill Hybels sermon series from 1984 on the book of James. The first one was incredibly interesting for me; James urges his brothers and sisters to see trials as joy. Hybels in his sermon remarks that they should become for the who follow Christ “allies”. I find this so interesting because of the hardships inside my head that I’ve had over the last year.

As I have faced depression, I have found that has affected every part of me. The trough of the depression is far passed but I still feel the effects like the aftershock of a earthquake. For instance, it is merely 6:03 in the evening right now and I feel as if I could go get in bed and sleep until morning. I nap often; usually going 2-3 hours every other couple of days.

So the circumstance that seems to be bugging me most is my lethargy. I want to hang out, but sometimes I just feel I need to go to bed.

Today I as listened to Bill I realized that over the last year as I have been sick I have not really embraced depression and now fatigue as an ally. Let me explain. In his epistle, James says that the through adversity and trial we learn to persevere. For most of my life I was so afraid of doing something wrong for myself or others that it all boiled into a breaking of my will. I had to consecrate these things to God, letting go and give everything to him: tangible and intangible. In short, the old me died one year ago. I know this is strong language but it is true.

The crazy thing is that I’m not sure how I would have any of it be different. The message I heard today put adequate words to what I was going through, and I have persevered and am continuing to persevere through it. It has been the only way that I may build character.

My challenge: to continue to seek God and he has first sought and loved me. My character is on the line, and I must embrace and make the trials I go through an ally. I also want to encourage any who have trials to share what they are going through. As we all experience life together, sometimes we need to pray for those who can’t pray themselves through. It’s through those sorts of prayers that I’ve stayed sane.